Unplanned Events and Journal Entries

It's been awhile and many events, both planned and unplanned, have taken place since my last post. By now us interns have been to two church services at New City Wien where we have helped out with set up, music/children's church, food preparation, and take down. We have been inside the glorious Opera House and watched The Magic Flute by Mozart for 3 euros. We have walked through breathtaking palaces and gardens fit for kings and queens. Vienna's scenery, class, eateries, and culture do not disappoint even the harshest critic.

While we have seen the beautiful parts of Vienna, a 5-10 minute tram ride from the touristy city center brought us to the heart of the city's prostitution and human trafficking ring. Prostitution is legal in Vienna and many women and children are illegally trafficked here from Eastern Europe and Africa. We sat down and listened for two hours to a woman who formed a ministry called "Hertzwerk" (Heart Work) that helps/ministers to human trafficking victims in Vienna. For two hours we heard of terror and joy, bondage and freedom, several of us needing to leave the room throughout the presentation to get air. Our hearts were enlightened and very raw after hearing many stories, both horrifying and wonderful. While ministering to these women on the street and in the brothels is not possible for us interns, we are able to help the ministry out in other ways during our time here!

An incredible "unplanned" event that took place last Friday was a benefit concert that was put on by some of our new Austrian friends to raise funds and awareness for their mission trip to Israel this summer. The event included performances by talented musicians studying in Vienna (piano, violin, and viola), learning a Jewish song and dance, and socializing with a common middle eastern meal (falafel, cucumbers, hummus, pita, tomato, fruit). I was blown away about a week before the concert when the main coordinator of the concert asked if I would like to play percussion! I was so moved by the offer and for me, it was a testament to God's goodness, the fact that he knows me, and that he has good works prepared in advance for me to do. This is something that I would never been able to orchestrate on my own, with so many elements fitting who I am. It was a wonderful night meeting with friends, making new ones, and sharing lots of stories over lots of yummy food.

I would like to share with you all a few journal entries. These are straight from my pages, so I have not corrected them grammatically, stylistically, etc. in any way, so please forgive me if there are errors that drive you nuts. For me, journaling is not writing a paper for a class, it is strands of thoughts written out attempting to synthesize and process.

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6/19/11

"We tend by a secret law of the soul to move toward our mental image of God. This is true not only of the individual Christian, but of the company of Christians that composes the church. Always the most revealing thing about he Church is her idea of God, just as her most significant message is what she says about Him or leaves unsaid, for her silence is often more eloquent than her speech. She can never escape the self-disclosure of her witness concerning God."

- A.W. Tozer, Knowledge of the Holy, 1

Who do people in Vienna think God is? An angry teacher looking for perfection and waiting to strike our hand when we fail or a loving father with open arms?

Father God, reveal your true self to Vienna.

People here do not know the tenderness of God, the comfort of the Holy Spirit, the peace that passes understanding which the world cannot give because it comes from Jesus alone. Purpose and life are entirely missing. Having everything yet having nothing. What God has shown me concerning himself, how I know him, how I am loved by him, the ways in which he has displayed his care and attention, these stories are what I am offering. These stories are testimonies to his goodness, his faithfulness, his existence, his love, his desire to be known, and his desire to deliver, heal, and free.

[brief explanation for this next part: the first Sunday Alli and I did children's church, Emma was one of the children]

Held Emma for half of service today. Snotty-nosed, teary-eyed, adorable redhead. First time away from her parents during a service and I - the never has babysat in her life, never done nursery, never done children's church woman - am the one chosen to take care of this little one. I sat down with her, holding her and bouncing her on my knee a little. After about five minutes of crying she stopped and was somewhat content on my knee. I couldn't help but think about a message by Bob Johnson when God gives him the realization that fishing with his nephews is just as glorious as casting out demons and healing the sick. Jesus held and blessed children. What I did today was glorious. I was pretty (surprisingly) calm while holding her and kept praying peace over her. Hope the child doesn't need Sozo [inner healing] after being separated from her parents (haha!). Afterwards her mom saw her and said, "You're hired!". I just beamed. Not too bad for my first time. :)

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6/26/11

Cafe Diglas. First large-ish drink I have ordered (on accident as is typically the case here thus far) - cafe latte machiatto. This is not Starbucks. This is class. Waiters in white button-up shirts with bright yellow ties or bow ties. Coat hanger, gold, at the front door. The scaffolding out the window does not belong here. Chandeliers that typically belong in rich people's mansions hang from the ceiling. In America one would automatically assume that such a thing was fake, here one would be shocked if it wasn't one of the finest crystals and materials dating centuries back. Back to the yellow ties - who could get away with such a thing? There is no questioning it here.

I have found it semi-difficult to reflect in cafes here. Everything is so new here still, and my mind tends to wander not to process, but to continually take in.

Alli shared a passage out of a book she is reading and it addressed the distinction between our agenda and God's. Often times anxiety comes from our progression and agenda not moving forward the way we might like. Perhaps it is the pace or maybe the steps are all wrong. We forget to check in with God, be at ease, and allow him to work out our days for us with us actively engaging. While I do enjoy the image of God driving the car and us in the passenger seat, I do feel that Jesus lets us drive sometimes. I think when we get off track we pull over at a rest stop and Jesus starts driving again. According to his purpose to benefit us, getting back on the right path may take awhile, or we may instantly find ourselves right back on track like we never took a wrong turn in our lives.

The fact that God loves us and is for us always allows us to choose to let go of how we think things should go and just come along for the ride. We are never giving the directions, but we are also never solely passive along the journey. And thank goodness - I would go brain dead. Thank God that our experience is not only Luke 1-8, but our experience and role is also Luke 9-24.

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Breakfast with the other interns: latte and plum cake!

In the Opera House after watching The Magic Flute

Concert Venue

Instruments for the benefit concert: violin, piano, viola, and percussion

So many falafels!!

Resting and Believing

This Wednesday will mark my "week" anniversary for arriving in Vienna. In many ways it seems like it has been a lot longer than a week and as I sit here in our kitchen sifting through which thoughts and experiences to share I find that I am at a loss at the moment for sharing many of them. When you are in an entirely new context you undergo a tremendous amount of change and are constantly learning at both a conscious and unconscious level. The amount of intake I have undergone concerning physical surroundings, navigation, emotional adjustments, spiritual "climate", aspects of community, etc. have been huge (for lack of a better term). I cannot begin to describe God's faithfulness to my teammates and I, but I hope that in this post and after you will be able to see some of what I am seeing.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of care that us interns are receiving from the New City Wien team. I have never felt so cared for on a volunteer trip. The emphasis placed on prayer and spending time with the Lord is such a blessing. On Monday we had several hours to ourselves to find a place (for me it ended up being several areas) to spend time with God - talk, listen, meditate on His word, etc. Before Vienna, and especially now that I am here, God has been teaching me the importance of just "being". This is another way of talking about identity - does my identity come from who I am in Christ or what I do? A more specific theme that has flowed out of this is simply believing and resting. On Monday I was sitting in front of Karlskirche (Karls Church)...

I stopped here to read some Scripture and as I was reading out of Genesis a gust of wind flipped some pages over to a short underlined phrase in Exodus which read: "The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." Coincidence? Maybe. Probably not though.

On our second day in Vienna, Lindsay, a long-term intern who has been here for 1.5 years, shared from John:

Then they [the disciples] asked him, "What must we do to do the work

that God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to

believe in the one he has sent."

John 6:28-29

The next day I read from Mark, as I followed my daily scripture reading guide to read the Bible in a year via genre. Here is what I read (larger context is Mark 5:21-43):

While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus,

the synagogue ruler. "Your daughter is dead," they said. "Why bother

the teacher any more?" Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue

ruler, "Don't be afraid, just believe."

Mark 5:35-36

I am sure that this theme of rest and believing will continue throughout my trip. I would like to share one last "Jesus moment" concerning this from last night. This just goes to show that when we invite the Lord to make us increasingly aware of his love and presence in our lives, he will answer our prayers. God longs to reveal himself in greater ways to us as we are willing. It is a wondrous thing to see how God seamlessly orchestrates our lives to bless us, our relationship with Him, and our relationship with others. Last night I "accidentally" came across this sermon excerpt that fit with what God had been reminding me of the past week:

God is so good. I am learning more and more how actively living for God comes out of resting and believing. Soon I will share some more about the interns first New City Wien service and our second prayer walk. For now, I will share a few pictures :)

Bis Dann! (Until then, i.e., when we meet again)

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Swing ride (350 ft high) in a Viennese amusement park

Vienna's grandeur buildings are lit up at night

Delicious Indian meal in Naschmarkt

Best coffee so far in a most unexpected place: a tiny stand underground

at a subway stop

Hilarious

Is This My Life?

Hallo von Wien (Hello from Vienna)!

Today was my third full day in Vienna and I am still adjusting a bit to the time change. Delicious coffee, gelato, breads, cheeses, and meats are certainly helping. Many sites, sounds, and smells are familiar to me here and remind me of my travels through Europe two summers ago. As wonderful as my last trip to Europe was, however, I must remind myself that this is not the same trip and I am not the same person I was two summers ago! Like I mentioned a few posts back, coming back to Europe has shown me the ways in which I have grown and matured in the Lord.

The city is absolutely gorgeous. Cathedrals dot the streets and pedestrian walkways. Sculptures of Greek deities, Biblical characters, Austrian rulers, poets, and musical geniuses tower over walkways. We got a small dose of this yesterday when Brad (the Pastor of New City Wien, the church I am interning with) gave us a scavenger hunt. Us five ladies got acclimated with the center portion of the city using various forms of public transportation (subway, tram, and bus) and navigating the streets. We saw touristy sites, walked past New City Wien for the first time, and grabbed some drinks at a cafe. I have remembered a few German phrases and have ordered in German several times!

European Summers = sitting outside (there is no AC indoors)!

Storefront of New City Wien!!

St. Stephans Cathedral

National Library

City Hall

Although the city is stunning, our team has also experienced some harsher realities of Vienna. For example, many of the cathedrals in Vienna are in need of repair (damages from WWII, age, etc.) and are constantly undergoing fundraisers and asking for voluntary offerings when entering. This is most obvious with Votivkirche (Votive Church), which has a large billboard blocking at least 2/3 of the front of the building. I asked Brad about it, disgusted with how it covered up its beauty. He shared with me that at one point there was an advertisement of a half naked model wearing a bikini, hands clasped above her head, torso stretched out, elongating passion and enhancing raw sexuality. This was advertising a bikini sale the church was putting on to raise money to restore/clean it. A votive offering indeed. Brad's story was yet another example to me of how external glimpses of "Christianity" are misleading and do not represent the hearts and values of Viennese (residents of Vienna).

Today was the second full day of orientation for the interns. We discussed what "evangelism" looks like in an Austrian context (relational ministry, building trust through networks of people), hearing briefly about Austria's church history, current day religious and ethnic demographics, and lastly, took a prayer walk around the district the church is in. Here are some highlights of this time:

• Heard Brad's heart for Vienna and the vision for New City Wien
• Steady numbers leaving the Catholic Church (the vast majority of Christians are Catholic) - 1970s: 20,000/year; 1980s: 30,000/year; 1990s: 40,000/year; 2000s: 50,000/year; 2010: 85,000 people left in ONE year
• Prayer walk through Karlsplatz (a subway stop) where city officials have contained those who use drugs below ground and Naschmarkt (an open air market where internationals have restaurants and sell food). People can look put together, but their eyes give them away.

I hope that this was not too long! Please feel free to leave comments - it is great to hear from you all back home as well!!

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Prayer Requests:

• For us to be aware of God's agenda, not our own, while we are here.
• For divine appointments and for us to be open to God's orchestration (are we more concerned with saving time or letting God use us to save people?)
• For God to prepare our hearts for Sunday, which will be our first Sunday service here
• For me - there is a possibility I will be playing in a benefit concert in an opera hall. I don't know what to do with this.
• For me to hear God's voice about two things he has laid on my heart so far: (1) I brought "Mere Christianity" because I believe God wants me to give it to someone here and (2) I believe that my Hebrew ring will be used to explain the gospel to someone here.

The Eagle Has Landed

Just wanted to drop a quick note letting everyone know that the team and I have arrived safely in Vienna!! There is much to share, including a few things from the brief orientation in Philadelphia before we headed out yesterday, but for now, a few pictures (forgive me for my lack of words - jet lag has fully set in):

From L to R: Sonja (church plant team member), and fellow intern

ladies Amanda, Eva, myself, Alli and Ali

Plane from Philadelphia to London

Our hosts took us on a brief walking tour in parts of downtown Vienna.

Playing with reflections off of windows in these shots.

More details to come in the next couple of days!! For now, it's time to adjust to the time difference...

Being Informed

In preparation for our "take-off" day on June 14 (how did that sneak up on me?!), I have been rereading the Vienna manual given to us by WHM. This is a great document, making us aware of cultural etiquette, things to avoid in conversation, and quirky things Americans and Austrians do when looking at it from the other's perspective.

One of the stereotypes of Americans that I have encountered when traveling overseas is that Americans do not know very much about any other countries besides their own (and sometimes not even their own). This, along with other stereotypes, is something I try not to project directly or indirectly. For example, I will try to be more informed about Europe's history, unlike the following (super cute) American:

Another key if you're trying to "blend in" is to wear black socks (Europeans do not wear white socks at all). If you can't part with your white socks, try to make sure that they at least don't look like the following:

Just a few funny thoughts! :)

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Prayer Requests:

• I am currently in Philadelphia with the other Vienna interns for a few days of preparation with the WHM staff before flying to Vienna this Tuesday! Please pray that this would be a refreshing, relaxing time and that we will hear the Lord's voice, sense his comfort, and feel his love over us individually and corporately.

• Our team is about to undergo many changes including lifestyle, the languages we hear, sleep schedules, unfamiliar/less structured daily schedules, etc. (also known as "culture shock"). Please pray for this transition to go smoothly and also for the team to encourage/support one another as we begin to live life together.

Monuments to the Lord

Moving between two places I call "home" for different reasons throughout the year is a challenging thing to do (for clarity's sake, however, "home" will refer to Wisconsin in this post). Since I moved to Massachusetts two Januaries ago to attend seminary I have grown in new ways socially, spiritually, academically, culturally, and relationally. This is most noticeable to me when I return home and am out of the context in which this growth has occurred. It's comparable to this: when you see a child every day it doesn't seem like they are growing, but when you see a child once every few months it is easy for you to notice the growth! As challenging as moving back and forth is, I am blessed by the perspective the shift brings because my personality does not typically allow for me to take a step back and look at how I've grown in life and in the Lord. Instead, my personality desires to push ahead and not be content with where I am currently at. Coming home calls for musings and reflections - this is a welcomed rest.

When I get home I love to go back to places that generated meaning throughout the years growing up in Wisconsin as well as my years during undergrad at UW-Madison (Go Badgers!!). In addition to using these places as an outlet to be nostalgic, many of these places have "God moments" tied to them. These are places where God met me and transformed the way I view myself, Him, and others. Such events are extremely meaningful to me, and revisiting them where they physically happened is like visiting a monument and reflecting on God's faithfulness, goodness, and love towards me.

For example, yesterday I went to a Starbucks near the UW-Madison campus (for those Madison-buffs it's the one on University Ave near Copps). Here I sat in the same spot where in October of 2010 I finished the last pages of journal I began in Europe two summers ago. As I read the last few pages, I was overwhelmed with gratitude in God's leading to do so - what I read was exactly what I needed to hear and reflect on before heading over to Vienna in a week! I will share a C.S. Lewis excerpt that is a portion of these pages:

"Thus, if you have really handed yourself over to Him [Jesus], it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you."

- Mere Christianity, 148

I believe that God honors remembering his faithfulness in our lives and in other's lives - currently and in generations before us. I think this is one of several ways to receive the gift of faith that God desires to increasingly lavish on each one of us. God's faithfulness, character, and love, among many other things, calls not for blind faith, but faith.

Again, a small quote from Lewis:

"It is not reason that is taking away my faith: on the contrary, my faith is based on reason."

- Mere Christianity, 139

Another time I hope to have with God while at home is reading one of my favorite Psalms, Psalm 18, outside during a thunderstorm. This event first happened sometime during my undergrad years while I was spending time at home and I felt led to go read this Psalm outloud during a powerful thunderstorm. It was one of those thunderstorms where the wind whips the rain in every direction, and as a result I had several water marks on the pages of Psalm 18. It is one thing to imagine being in a storm displaying God's power; it is entirely another to have God speak through the storm concerning his character while you are in the midst of it.

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Below is an excerpt of a message by Bill Johnson speaking to one's "personal history with God" - no one can take this away from you, but no one can give it to you either. It must be developed and written through our time before the Lord in the Word and in prayer. Enjoy and be blessed!

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You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.

- Psalm 18:28

At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps.

- Matthew 25:1-4